There's something to say about follow your dreams. The things that you think about when you go to sleep and wake up thinking about in the mornings. Those great ideas and passions that get you so excited that you can't contain yourself. There's something to be said about our truest and happiest dreams. They make us feel enchanted and alive and complete.
Yet, so many of us don't follow our dreams. So many of us fail to live out what we truly want. To live a life that we truly love, and to admire all those in it. Follow your dreams little ducks because when things feel rough, they may be the only light in the darkness acting as your guide and shaping your life. Living in a place like Jamaica where we're very traditional with our careers and everyone is expected to acquire certain traditional careers it may be hard to see your options but remember their all there if you just look. And this isn't just limited to Jamaica but to anyone who doubts that their dreams will become a reality. Anyone who faces setbacks and thinks they can't get it right. Be faithful in your dreams. Believe in yourself and take a few risks. You'll never know what you just may discover.
This may seem like I'm just preaching the cliches but I'm serious. I've had so many mishaps and setbacks in my life that I've had to work hard to keep the faith. When I entered university, it was much different from the fun and wonder of high school I was in a newly challenging program, a new environment, I'd just broken up with someone that summer and then to add to it all a series of deaths just seem to plague my life. Every semester a new relative, friend, school mate, teacher or someone I admired seem to die and leave me. I lost some people I truly loved and appreciated. The transition into university was hard. Yeah, I was social and friendly and so on (well sometimes) but at the same time I felt flustered. The work was getting to me and I wasn't sure how to manage my time. I didn't have homework, classwork or tests to act as a guide to where I should be and what I should work on. All I had was a series of lectures and high expectations on my shoulders. This is it. I finally made it into medical school after all the years of saying I wanted to be a doctor. And you know what hit me the devil's evil advocate............ DOUBT!!!!
I felt like I didn't deserve to be there. Like I was just expecting to be someone that I shouldn't. That being a doctor was merely a childhood ideal rather than something that could actually be a reality. I felt like I was wasting the money of all those investing in me. And as a result my grades weren't hot. Not to the standards that I was used to and you what came next. I used that as a marker to say I didn't belong there. See I knew it all along. There was the devil's advocate talking again. DOUBT encapsulated my mind and eroded my thoughts. I kept on slipping deeper and deeper into my sadness and self-doubt. Becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy rather than working to overcome obstacles. Set back after set back became a campaign for my continued disappointment and distrust in myself. This lasted for 2 years.
I spent TWO whole years in this dark place. And to make matters worse because of my martyrs heart I felt guilty for feeling this way. I felt like I had everything so good. I could afford to get a good education and I spent all this time feeling sorry for myself. This was the cycle I kept in for a long time. I didn't want to eat so I looked decrepit and basically had no appetite. And I wanted to just take a break from life. Pack up my bags, use my savings and just by a plane ticket to somewhere, anywhere really to get away from it all. It wasn't until one day an ex of mine who I don't talk to now said to me "Why are you taking things so hard? It's your burden to bear. It may not be as much as everyone else but it's yours" Now this was the best piece of advice he'd ever give but it wasn't enough at the time because I still felt so lost and dark in my life. I had to sit myself down and say look the Lord brought you here for a reason. He's allowed you to make it this far. How can you not trust him? How can you doubt that you're meant to make it? And it was after that talk with myself and consoling myself that I started to learn how to cope better.
I spent that summer rebuilding myself and attempting to reset my mind. Not saying I don't get negative bouts now and again but I dust myself off and start again whenever I see the devil's advocates creeping in. I'm still a work in progress but I'm better off than I was before and now I continue on the path to my dreams. I write this to just tell you that when it comes to dreams you will have doubts, fears, naysayers and your biggest critic may be yourself. But take a step back and see how far you've come rather than look at how far you have to go. Then continue on your journey. If you see something isn't working don't adjust the dream or the goal but rather adjust the mindset, the focus and the plan. Everything works out for the best once you change your perspective a little.
Always follow your dreams.
Have something you dream of doing but afraid to? Leave a comment and let's see how best we can accomplish those dreams. Let your head and your heart connect and navigate you through life.
Thanks for reading.
Much Love,
Nella
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