Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s Only the Beginning

They say love is the spice of life and the appetite of the gods. It’s that tantalizing feeling that sends tingly ripples through your spine, jolts through your body and butterflies in your stomach. But I say love the best dish one can have to soothe their appetite (next to God and spirituality). It is the complete meal of life and the most refreshing drink to quench one’s thirst. And as you know every dish needs spices and seasoning for the meal to truly come alive. So what am I getting to with all of this? For any loving relationship to truly work it takes effort and commitment, it takes trust and love, it takes forgiveness and gratitude. It takes many spices to make any loving relationship work. And the end product is the greatest dish anyone has ever tasted. Everyone has their favourite comfort food in times of despair, whether it is cake, ice cream, Mac and cheese, candy, chocolate but in my eyes you can get no greater comfort food than the one love delivers.

Back in fourth form my friends and I started a club we named ‘Lonely Hearts Club’. We started it because it was getting closer to Valentine’s Day and none of us has a Valentine (Can I tell you a secret? I actually got a Valentine soon after. But that’s beside the point because it was merely an agreement between friends.) However, as we grew older the club transformed from more of a club about single people without a significant other and became more of a club about our feeling of independence and our own development in this world as single people. I think many people hear the name of the club and feel like it’s a self pity club or something but it really isn’t. There are many in the club with the option of leaving but are not ready to do so and there are those who may not have the option but are good with that. We all are different in the club. We all have different reasons for joining or being in the club but one thing remains common to us all……….We all enjoy the times we’ve spent in this club and the journey it’s taken us on.

So here begins the introduction to my blog on this day January 1^st 2011. My name is Ornella but most people call me Nella. I’m a 20 year old student and I’m on a quest. A quest to find the greatest gift God has given to the world, the gift of finding that special love and a quest to help others find it as well. In our lives we will have many loves based on our many different relationships with the people in our lives. The love of our parent, the love of our siblings, the love of our family, the love of our friends and the list goes on; but the one I’m trying to focus on is that relationship love with your significant other. I will write articles that I hope will be a part of your recipe of your quest to find that person. I also plan to tackle some of the most pivotal, scandalous and frequently discussed dating and relationship issues. I will give my opinion and at times the opinions of others I interact with, both males and females. I will hopefully start some video blogs and interviews on topics that I think deserve not only my opinion but also the opinion of others around the world whether I know the person or not. I will do what I can to help you all on this journey of love, romance and relationships. And hopefully the end result will be that I help someone out there snag a great catch. Whatever the end result is, there is one thing that I know will be great; the journey shall be adventurous, fun, and completely worthwhile. Remember: Life’s a climb but the view’s great! So as I write this I will be enjoying the journey that is love and life. Thank you for reading and enjoy the rest of your day. Toodles!!!

                                  

Much Love,

Nella

Comments, feedback and suggestions are welcomed.

It came like a thief in the night

Isn’t it amazing how you get inspired? No warning. No sign, nor signal. It just comes to you. When you get inspired, it’s like your muse that has been whispering in your ear all along finally got through to you. It’s a beautiful thing and all you want to say is ‘Eureka! I’ve got it!’ That is exactly how I feel when I get inspired. I feel like lightning just came and zapped a flow of energy through me. I feel like there is no limit to what I can do. There is no limit to what I can achieve. This is what has been happening to me lately. I’ve been feeling a lot of inspiration lately. My muse who I’ve decided to name Lola has just been guiding me and my writings.  And there is something vitalizing about this feeling. Something that sends adrenaline through your body. Something that gets you so pumped up, so excited that you know that even if no one ever sees your finished work, you’re proud of yourself for writing it. I enjoy this feeling every time I get it. Therefore my hope is that those of you who are inspired to do something whether it be write, draw, dance, take photographs, solve a math problem, tackle a medical dilemma, whatever it is that you do. My hope is for you to get that same feeling too. Dream beautiful dreams and live a beautiful life. Have a great day. Toodles!!!

Nella

* I used the picture of Tinkerbell because she is the quintessential image of an inspiring creature in the fantasy world.

Lola wink ;)

So this one is a bit dark yet quite entertaining. Enjoy! Note: I do not promote murder nor revenge. The poem actually directs towards a twist and not just the obvious ending. Think about it!

A pretty girl
With emerald eyes
She glistens
In the sunrise

With petticoats
And a bright-coloured bow
Her eyes beam
In the sunlight

The blondes always have the most fun
She whispers to her friends
Brunettes always land the husbands
She whispers again
But you see red heads like me
We have the fire
That ignites any man’s desire

So she walks lustfully over to him
Licks ruby red lips
Flashes on a dazzling smile and winks
‘Hey stranger’ flows off her alluring lips
‘Care to dance with a vixen like this?’

He tips his hat in her direction
Acknowledges her with a smile
Rises from his seat
And takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor

They swoon and sigh
Dance to the music all night
Yet little did she know
The man she’s with
Is one who belongs to another
Another seated right across the room
Sitting in the dark corner

Eyes peered at them
As they move gracefully across the floor
Eyes seething with jealousy
Roaring with pain
Eyes of the hurt one
Eyes of the angry and enraged

The eyes never stopped penetrating
The mind attached to those eyes formulated
A plan to end this once and for all
A plan to destroy the deception for all

The eyes waited until the night was over
Waited until they made the journey through the door
Then the feet followed them across the room
And footsteps followed their every direction
‘How could you?’ yelled the lips
‘How could you do this to me?’

The eyes moved from one to the other
Then settled on her
The eyes saw the stark realization
Stumble back into her gleaming features
The eyes watched her intently
As she turned to him and slapped him
Then went on her way

‘I’m not done with you yet’ called the lips
To another figure departing in the other direction
As she turned to see the chosen weapon
The sound of the trigger went off
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Was all she heard
As her once dance partner inched back
Back into a deep slumber

‘That’s why you never mess with a raven’
The last sound off the lips
Until the figure disappeared into the moonlight
With stiletto heels and a wink at the fallen

Sick!!!

Sigh! It's another day and you know what? I'm sick! Bleh!!! I feel like a harbourer of germs. A reservoir of bacteria. As in this is not the way I choose to ring in the New Year. Porque me? Why me?!!!!!!!! Well I'm not really moaning like it's the death of life as I know it but I would rather not being sick at the present moment. On a brighter note I've been spurring out poems and other things which I have shared on facebook in notes and will introduce to my blog a.s.a.p. Well New Year's day. I want to just send a flood of entertainment day by day that will keep you occupied so that when school starts back and my time has dwindled you can look on the blog and enjoy the time we spent during the holidays. I know it may sound like I'm going off my bonkers but my writing to you is a relationship and I will write to you as such. Anyways toodles for now!

Nella

Beach boys aren't the only sun lovers ;)

For those of you who know me well you know that I do not particularly like the beach. Now don't get me wrong I love the aesthetics of the beach. The way how the blue of the water mirrors against the golden sunshine and the thick, brown sand. All proof of God's great gift to man. What I do not like is sand that never seems to come off even after you've left the beach, salt water that burns your eyes, and sun that a beat yuh body hard. All of these I can do without. That being said I must admit that my day at the beach was quite vigorating and fun. I enjoyed the time I spent with my friends, even though I did not get the opportunity to swim due to reasons beyond my control. I loved the atmosphere, the feeling of spending some quality time with some important people in my life and just the fun of getting out of the house and enjoying the day. It just made me appreciate the fact that I was fortunate enough to be able to enjoy such a wonderful day. I'm still not a big fan of the beach but all in all, I must say I truly enjoyed my day today. Oh and my family went to anoth beach today too so it wasn't like they didn't have fun too. Anyhoo if you ever in the Portmore or Kingston area you should go and check out Fort Clarence beach. I give it four paws :D. Enjoy the rest of your night sweeties!

No use being a cry baby about it!

So Christmas has officially come and gone and you know what I got? Bupkist! Nada! Zilch! Well you get the picture. And for a tad bit I was feeling quite sorry for myself you know and as with my usual cycle I get upset at myself for being sorry for myself. Yes I know; something is truly wrong with me. I know this! I accept this! I think it comes from my goodie-two-shoes, wants to change the world, does not like to be selfish nature. You know how they say you are your own worst critic and TRUST Me it is very true for me. I honestly hate feeling sorry for myself knowing others are facing greater dilemmas than I am. So after I threw my silent hissy fit! (Dr. Diva rule #1: You never let them see you sweat) I read a little tidbit my sixth form grade supervisor gave me back in the day and it basically brought me back to the conclusion that I should be thankful for all my blessings. I know I didn't get all I wanted for the Christmas but the holiday is more than just that. It's about Christ, his birth and eventual death to save the world. It's about family and being thankful that we can all celebrate the holiday together. It's about friends who you know love you and send you the most random messages ever that just make you laugh out loud and everyone in the room looks at you all funny and crazy!!! :D It's about the people you haven't spoken to in months but with the holiday they never fail to call or text or email or hit up your facebook wall with a Christmas greeting. It's even about the random strangers you have never met, will never meet or have yet to meet, who during this time all show their good natured spirit in the simple smile plastered across their faces. All these my friends are recipes for the spiciest, happiest and holiest Christmas a girl could ever want and it makes me look brightly to the upcoming year. I leave you with this……I am who I choose to be! Enjoy the rest of your night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite…….too hard! :D Peace and Love in the New Year!!!

Holiday Traditions- Boxing Day

            In many countries the day after Christmas is greeted with another holiday tradition, known as Boxing Day. Though we celebrate it, there are many of us that are unsure about the significance of Boxing Day and why we celebrate it. Here is some brief information on Boxing Day to help you to know more about the holiday.

            Boxing Day is noted as the day following Christmas. It is a holiday tradition that originated in England and is celebrated on December 26^th of each year. Boxing Day is celebrated in nations such as the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Germany, Hong Kong, New Zealand and the countries in the Commonwealth of Nations (such as Jamaica) with a mainly Christian population. In South Africa this public holiday is now known as the Day of Goodwill.

Despite its name, Boxing Day, has nothing to do with the physical competition. Nor is it a day for people to return unwanted Christmas presents. Traditionally, this was the day to open the Christmas box to share the contents to the poor. The Christmas box is a wooden or clay container where people placed gifts. The boxes were generally placed in churches where parishioners deposited coins for the poor; these boxes were opened and the contents were distributed on December 26. Christmas boxes were not necessarily made in the shape of a box. Some were hollow clay balls with a slit in the top.

The name ‘Boxing Day’ derives from the Anglo-Saxon tradition of giving seasonal gifts (in the form of a "Christmas box") to less wealthy people and slaves. As time went by, Boxing Day gift giving expanded to include those who had rendered a service during the previous year. This tradition survives today as people give presents to tradesmen, mail carriers, doormen, porters, and others who have helped them.

Boxing Day is also known as St. Stephen’s Day. The Feast of St. Stephen also takes place on December 26. St. Stephen was one of the seven original deacons of the Christian Church who were ordained by the Apostles to care for widows and the poor. For the success of his preaching and his devotion to Christ, St. Stephen was stoned to death by a mob. As he died, he begged God not to punish his killers.

Sources:

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/Xmas/facts.html

http://www.factmonster.com/spot/boxingday1.html

Jesus is the reason for the season

     Have we all lost the true meaning of Christmas? Christmas was once centred around the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, but has it become so commercialized that all we can think of is the presents and gifts that we receive from out family and friends? It has become more of a commercial empire than a religious observance. Every year we see on television all kind of sales and discounts going on, all kind of parades and kind of traditions that have appeared to exclude Christ from it all. There are also many Christmas special where Santa Claus has become the centre of all the Christmas festivities, so much so that even he once of a figure of Christian charity has become a commercial figure of toy sales and capitalizing on the children market. Did we forget that Christmas is a Christian holiday and that without Christ, there would be no Christmas in the first place?

Now I know we do not know the exact date of Jesus’ birth. I understand that some refuse to celebrate the day due to the associated pagan origins and traditions. And I understand that some of us may not be Christians. However, for those of us who are and for Jamaica as a Christian nation, it is important that we remember where we came from, those who came before us and what has led us here. We do not need a bright star in the sky to tell us Jesus is born, we KNOW! We know that he lived before us and we know what he has done for us. We know he is the greatest symbol of God’s love for us. We all know! So I implore you all that even though many of us may be financially strapped this Christmas, do not say that it’s a bad Christmas. We can all take it as opportunity to celebrate the true meaning behind Christmas and make that tradition forever more. Celebrate him through your actions, through your words, through your thoughts and through your life. We do not need the material things Remember he is the reason for the season! So let’s put ‘Christ’ back in Christmas.

The Start of Something New

So with the start of the New Year, I start I should try and spice up this blog and add new features. So that's what I'm going to do. This first feature is called 'Just didn't make it'. Now what's this all about you ask? Well as some of you may know I'm a writer for the Jamaica Observer so these are basically articles I sent in and that unfortunately didn't make the printing cut. But I am confident in my writings so I thought where best to let my writings show and my articles flow but within my own domain? So sit back, relax and enjoy the show! :D

Confession of a Lonely Hearter-Deuces

Well gentlefolks, I'm back with part 2 of the top dating mistakes that people make. And since I no longer have exams I can do this without any form of guilt. Before I go on can I ask you all a couple questions? How do you like my articles thus far? Do you have any suggestions on topics or ideas you would like me to discuss? Or any suggestions to make it better? Your input would be valued. On a different note…..back to the matters on hand. The dog-eat-dog world of dating is filled with many do's and don'ts for success. And I am here to give you a mere remaining 5 of 10 of the top mistakes made in dating. It is important that one remembers that each person is different and as a result different things and actions may be deal breakers in this dating world so pay attention to these and take your time when getting to know a person. Dating is a learning process and in this process you should learn not only about the other person but also yourself. You should understand who you are, your likes and dislikes and what you find important and value in a relationship. This is the only way you will find what you are looking for when it comes to dating and relationships.

                      

6. Obsessing over details. Now in my opinion is that a worrywart will always be a worrywart. They can't help themselves, it's in their nature. And this is fine. Once you know your character trait, you can work towards making sure that it does not hamper your growth and development. So what makes being a worrywart an issue? When it starts to transcend into your daily life and relationships. You worry about whether or not the person is going to call when they get home, worry about what the other said, worry about if they meant what they said, worry about how long until they find someone else, worry about whether ir not your parents will accept the person and if not, how will you balance the two aspects of your life and so on and so forth. This worrying mentality can seriously hamper any relationship. It takes away from your attractive appeal and let's face it it's a mood killer. There is no use worrying about every aspect of a relationship. If a relationship is meant to be it will be. Que sera sera. Trust in the Lord and the choices he makes. Know that he will guide you to the one.

7. Avoidance of intimacy. The idea of intimacy that I'm referring to is not leaning towards the sexual aspect. I'm not saying to run around kissing and doing the nasty will as many persons as possible. Actually I advise against it. Relationships have become too focused in the physical and not enough on the personality or the overall vibing between you and the person. The avoidance of intimacy I am referring to is the ever growing fear of relationships and making a commitment. This fear was usually attributed to men. If you ever watched the movie 'The Bachelor' well I think that's what it was called, we saw the image of the wild mustang that gets lassoed into marriage. However, this fear is growing in women as well. As a result of this fear, many of us subject ourselves to the 80/20 rule or possibly 60/40. Much of this can be attributed to the current society we are living in. With high divorce rates and the high idealism the we attach to finding the perfect mate, many of us may pass up a 'good catch' and undervalue a great partner because we fear that we may be settling or we may just fear rejection, being hurt or the loss of a relationship that we may not even put the effort in the relationship from the get go. All I can say is 'You never know, if you never try.'

*The 80/20 rule refers to how much effort one puts into a relationship. The aim is not to put too much effort into the relationship, so if the relationship fails you do not get hurt.

8. Rush in, rush out. I'm sure many of us have met those eager beavers. Those overexcited persons who rush into every situation head first and never seem to slow down and think about the possible consequences and repercussions. These reckless lovers always seem to fall in love more quickly than the rest of us and so in, so out. Soon after they profess their undying love, they are out of love (*snap*) just like that. I'm often told my friends that I thought it was unhealthy that some people feel like they always need to be in a relationship. They don't feel complete unless they have someone as their boyfriend or girlfriend. So much so that many tend to have others on stand-by or they are actively looking for someone else whilst in a relationship. Then are those who start planning the wedding from the first date. Both of these are two sides of the same dating mistake coin. Getting overly involved too soon is a big red flag. It can lead to high expectations and great disappointments. In every relationship you need to pace yourself and just try to enjoy and cherish the moments spent together.

                                

9. Not being honest about your needs. It's a great thing to have a positive attitude and to optimistic. What isn't great is when that optimism makes you delusional or even brush issues under the rug. Pretending everything is peachy and right as rain is not ok nonetall. Eventually everything will surface and all that makes for is an even bigger explosion. Assertiveness (not to be confused with being bossy, demanding or domineering) is an essential skill for any mature relationship. One needs to be able to active voice their opinions and concerns to their partner. I believe we are at the age where we should be able to speak to each other about pretty much anything and it not turn into a shout match or a battle of the voices. You need to clearly and confidently speak your needs to your partner; it's the only way they can be met. Being tactful and direct is the quickest path to relationship success.

10. Sacrificing too much to get the relationship. You give give give and what do you get in return? Bupkiss! Nada! Zilch in return! There are many of us who our nature is to put others needs above our own. We are so busy self-sacrificing that we fail to see we are not getting anything in return. There is a word commonly used to describe a person like this, 'DOORMAT'. Just remember when all you do is bend over backwards, in time you will crick your back or even get a spinal injury. Do not undervalue yourself and end up in a situation where you are sacrificing yourself, your needs or your character in order to snag a mate. It's never worth it to lose yourself for ANYONE. A healthy relationship is one between two equals, both giving and receiving in reciprocal fashion. Remember every relationship has its kinks and road bumps but the right one will accept you for who you are; but if the problems outweigh the benefits then it's probably best to slow down, cut it loose or seek third-party help.

Well ladies and gents we have arrived at the end of the common dating mistakes. There may be others but I pretty much covered the basics and the most essential issues of the dating world. Take careful note of yhis advice. It may not be the gospel, but it's some pretty useful stuff. As usual, at the end of any discussion I like to leave you with some wise words from those who have come before me or just a wise saying I may have heard someone in my life say. Today I leave you with 'Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.  That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.  ~Emily Kimbrough'. Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Enjoy your day. Toodles!!!

Comments, feedback and suggestions are welcomed.

Lonely Hearts Club!!!