Good Day Faithful Readers and Followers,
Well faithful readers I’ve decided to give you a treat today. I know it seems like I’ve been neglecting my romantic advice section and sad to say I have. I’m sorry the muse had me in a poetic mood (check out my poetry posts and notes) but never fear the romancing and loving is back! Wham! Bam! And thank you ma’am! So what’s next on the agenda in the romance department? Well consider this scenario: You’re a single gal or guy and you’re out at a party, club, dinner with friends or another place of social gathering and you see this good-looking person that you would like to meet up with and possibly even date. What do you do?
a) Do you go over and say ‘What’s cooking good looking?’ or ‘I’ve lost my phone number can I have yours’ or something along those lines? You’re bold, brash and determined
b) Do you try to find something in common with the person or find a friend to introduce and then go over and strike up casual conversation? You’re calm, collected and tactical
c) Or do you admire from afar but never dare to venture across the room? You’re shy, timid and maybe even a bit nauseous
Well if you’re more like me then a) would certainly NOT be your answer. You may consider b) as an option, but your most likely mode of action is c). Whereas, I do not get nauseous or any kind of ailments; I must admit that I am a bit timid in the approach. Yes I know it’s hard to believe. Nella? Shy? You must be kidding! But it’s true, I, like many others around the world are rather timid and shy when it comes on to approaching someone we are attracted to but are unfamiliar with. So what do we do? What’s the best approach? Well logical the best approach to the situation would be b) but let’s face it when it comes to love logics is never enough. They say ‘Love is blind’ but I think it’s blind, deaf, lame, sick, ill, every single thing if you get what I mean. Love is irrational, unreasonable and unfounded. Love and relationships makes up some of the most illogical beings on the planet and God love us for it! However, despite the illogical nature of love, one must admit that taking a logical approach to our relationships is a good basis for our overall success. So that is where we will begin. So how do you approach someone and ask that person out on a date? Well follow these helpful tips and hopefully success will come to you.
1) Take the initiative. This is what I like to call the Nike Approach, ‘Just Do it’. Muster up the courage and go over to the person you wish to meet. Unfortunately, many persons are too afraid to walk up to someone they're interested in and ask them out. Take matters into your own hands. Walk up to the person slowly but DO NOT creep them out, and introduce yourself. Even if you already know the person relatively well, still walk up to the person and try to make small talk.
2) Make small talk. Start by saying “Hi” or “Hey” and ask a question or give a compliment. Break the ice by commenting on something he/she's wearing or saying something about the place or event you're at. Just try to get him/her to feel comfortable around you. It can be scary, but it's really pretty simple. Also, pay attention to what the person is saying so that when he/she asks you something, or stops talking, you can continue the conversation intelligently.
3) Make eye contact. While the two of you are talking, make eye contact and try to hold it for just a little longer than you normally would-just a second or two, not too long. If he/she makes eye contact back, he/she's probably interested in you. Take notice of eye contact, smiling, laughter, and enthusiasm in responses.
4) Commence flirting. Flirt a little! Relax, crack a joke, and break the touch barrier. This can mean touching lightly on the arm, for example, or laughing at their jokes. Just be playful and communicate that you're interested. Sometimes you can flirt from afar and entice the person to come over to you. Compliment them! For example you could say something like, "I love your shirt." Or “You have beautiful eyes.” If he/she seems to be flirting, flirt back. Keep working at it until you're at full on flirt mode. Try not to do this if he/she's extremely busy, but at the same time, don't let the opportunity to talk to the person pass you by just because you're nervous. If he/she seems receptive when you introduce yourself, keep on talking to him. (And hey if you’re successful, the person may flip the switch and even ask you out!)
5) Ask the person non-intrusive questions about themselves, such as what kinds of things they like to do, what their favorite kind of food is, or if they like to play sports. By asking harmless little questions you can find out more about the person to determine if you really want to ask them out, and you might find out whether or not they are single. You can also set up the conversation to ask the person out or at least to get their contact information to start communicating and ask them out at a later date. Things like facebook, msn messenger, and even bb messenger have been quite helpful in closing the communication gap.
6) Ask them out. Once you find something you both have in common, ask if he/she'd like to do it together sometime. Do NOT just rush up to the person and say the words or ask a friend to ask him/her out for you! Guys and girls hate that. It is embarrassing. If you don't succeed in finding something you have in common, you might not really find him/her that interesting, but if you want to take a chance, just let him/her know that you'd like to hang out with him/her again. Try these:
o "Hey, why don't you come to the movies with me this weekend?" (It doesn't just have to be the movies - it can be anything you're interested in, and that you think they would enjoy too).
o You could try "what's your favorite ice cream flavor?" then continue the conversation and offer to treat the person with some.
o Another good way to ask is "I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?" If he/she says they think it looks good, ask if they would like to go with you to see it. If they ask "as in a date?" say yes.
- Another good way of asking is just by saying "I was wondering if you would maybe want to go to a play this Saturday night. I think it would be fun if we both went together." Remember it can be anything else you two may enjoy.
Now I know it may not be as easy as the steps listed above but remember, ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained!’ And consider things this way: If the person says no, at least they know you are interested and may get to want to know you more. If the person says yes, success in yours and you can plan where and when you will go out, and don't forget to have fun. If the person is a bit ify, you can use the opportunity to try to get to know them a bit better and hopefully become closer and maybe another time you will become successful. The point is you will never know if you don’t try. And if it just so happens you are turned down, then you should not feel bad, you tried and you’ve still got moxy kid! As they say, ‘There are plenty other fish in the sea” though I prefer to say, “There are more cookies in the jar”. Asking someone out is no easy feat, especially when you’re a little shy, but remember to just be yourself, relax and have fun with it. Thank you for reading my ramblings. Enjoy the rest of your day.
~Nella~
Comments, Feedback and Suggestions are welcomed!!!
Note: Some of this article was taken from other sources and I placed my personal spin and add my own comments to it.
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