Beach boys aren't the only sun lovers ;)

For those of you who know me well you know that I do not particularly like the beach. Now don't get me wrong I love the aesthetics of the beach. The way how the blue of the water mirrors against the golden sunshine and the thick, brown sand. All proof of God's great gift to man. What I do not like is sand that never seems to come off even after you've left the beach, salt water that burns your eyes, and sun that a beat yuh body hard. All of these I can do without. That being said I must admit that my day at the beach was quite vigorating and fun. I enjoyed the time I spent with my friends, even though I did not get the opportunity to swim due to reasons beyond my control. I loved the atmosphere, the feeling of spending some quality time with some important people in my life and just the fun of getting out of the house and enjoying the day. It just made me appreciate the fact that I was fortunate enough to be able to enjoy such a wonderful day. I'm still not a big fan of the beach but all in all, I must say I truly enjoyed my day today. Oh and my family went to anoth beach today too so it wasn't like they didn't have fun too. Anyhoo if you ever in the Portmore or Kingston area you should go and check out Fort Clarence beach. I give it four paws :D. Enjoy the rest of your night sweeties!

No use being a cry baby about it!

So Christmas has officially come and gone and you know what I got? Bupkist! Nada! Zilch! Well you get the picture. And for a tad bit I was feeling quite sorry for myself you know and as with my usual cycle I get upset at myself for being sorry for myself. Yes I know; something is truly wrong with me. I know this! I accept this! I think it comes from my goodie-two-shoes, wants to change the world, does not like to be selfish nature. You know how they say you are your own worst critic and TRUST Me it is very true for me. I honestly hate feeling sorry for myself knowing others are facing greater dilemmas than I am. So after I threw my silent hissy fit! (Dr. Diva rule #1: You never let them see you sweat) I read a little tidbit my sixth form grade supervisor gave me back in the day and it basically brought me back to the conclusion that I should be thankful for all my blessings. I know I didn't get all I wanted for the Christmas but the holiday is more than just that. It's about Christ, his birth and eventual death to save the world. It's about family and being thankful that we can all celebrate the holiday together. It's about friends who you know love you and send you the most random messages ever that just make you laugh out loud and everyone in the room looks at you all funny and crazy!!! :D It's about the people you haven't spoken to in months but with the holiday they never fail to call or text or email or hit up your facebook wall with a Christmas greeting. It's even about the random strangers you have never met, will never meet or have yet to meet, who during this time all show their good natured spirit in the simple smile plastered across their faces. All these my friends are recipes for the spiciest, happiest and holiest Christmas a girl could ever want and it makes me look brightly to the upcoming year. I leave you with this……I am who I choose to be! Enjoy the rest of your night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite…….too hard! :D Peace and Love in the New Year!!!

Holiday Traditions- Boxing Day

            In many countries the day after Christmas is greeted with another holiday tradition, known as Boxing Day. Though we celebrate it, there are many of us that are unsure about the significance of Boxing Day and why we celebrate it. Here is some brief information on Boxing Day to help you to know more about the holiday.

            Boxing Day is noted as the day following Christmas. It is a holiday tradition that originated in England and is celebrated on December 26^th of each year. Boxing Day is celebrated in nations such as the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Germany, Hong Kong, New Zealand and the countries in the Commonwealth of Nations (such as Jamaica) with a mainly Christian population. In South Africa this public holiday is now known as the Day of Goodwill.

Despite its name, Boxing Day, has nothing to do with the physical competition. Nor is it a day for people to return unwanted Christmas presents. Traditionally, this was the day to open the Christmas box to share the contents to the poor. The Christmas box is a wooden or clay container where people placed gifts. The boxes were generally placed in churches where parishioners deposited coins for the poor; these boxes were opened and the contents were distributed on December 26. Christmas boxes were not necessarily made in the shape of a box. Some were hollow clay balls with a slit in the top.

The name ‘Boxing Day’ derives from the Anglo-Saxon tradition of giving seasonal gifts (in the form of a "Christmas box") to less wealthy people and slaves. As time went by, Boxing Day gift giving expanded to include those who had rendered a service during the previous year. This tradition survives today as people give presents to tradesmen, mail carriers, doormen, porters, and others who have helped them.

Boxing Day is also known as St. Stephen’s Day. The Feast of St. Stephen also takes place on December 26. St. Stephen was one of the seven original deacons of the Christian Church who were ordained by the Apostles to care for widows and the poor. For the success of his preaching and his devotion to Christ, St. Stephen was stoned to death by a mob. As he died, he begged God not to punish his killers.

Sources:

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/Xmas/facts.html

http://www.factmonster.com/spot/boxingday1.html

Jesus is the reason for the season

     Have we all lost the true meaning of Christmas? Christmas was once centred around the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, but has it become so commercialized that all we can think of is the presents and gifts that we receive from out family and friends? It has become more of a commercial empire than a religious observance. Every year we see on television all kind of sales and discounts going on, all kind of parades and kind of traditions that have appeared to exclude Christ from it all. There are also many Christmas special where Santa Claus has become the centre of all the Christmas festivities, so much so that even he once of a figure of Christian charity has become a commercial figure of toy sales and capitalizing on the children market. Did we forget that Christmas is a Christian holiday and that without Christ, there would be no Christmas in the first place?

Now I know we do not know the exact date of Jesus’ birth. I understand that some refuse to celebrate the day due to the associated pagan origins and traditions. And I understand that some of us may not be Christians. However, for those of us who are and for Jamaica as a Christian nation, it is important that we remember where we came from, those who came before us and what has led us here. We do not need a bright star in the sky to tell us Jesus is born, we KNOW! We know that he lived before us and we know what he has done for us. We know he is the greatest symbol of God’s love for us. We all know! So I implore you all that even though many of us may be financially strapped this Christmas, do not say that it’s a bad Christmas. We can all take it as opportunity to celebrate the true meaning behind Christmas and make that tradition forever more. Celebrate him through your actions, through your words, through your thoughts and through your life. We do not need the material things Remember he is the reason for the season! So let’s put ‘Christ’ back in Christmas.

The Start of Something New

So with the start of the New Year, I start I should try and spice up this blog and add new features. So that's what I'm going to do. This first feature is called 'Just didn't make it'. Now what's this all about you ask? Well as some of you may know I'm a writer for the Jamaica Observer so these are basically articles I sent in and that unfortunately didn't make the printing cut. But I am confident in my writings so I thought where best to let my writings show and my articles flow but within my own domain? So sit back, relax and enjoy the show! :D

Confession of a Lonely Hearter-Deuces

Well gentlefolks, I'm back with part 2 of the top dating mistakes that people make. And since I no longer have exams I can do this without any form of guilt. Before I go on can I ask you all a couple questions? How do you like my articles thus far? Do you have any suggestions on topics or ideas you would like me to discuss? Or any suggestions to make it better? Your input would be valued. On a different note…..back to the matters on hand. The dog-eat-dog world of dating is filled with many do's and don'ts for success. And I am here to give you a mere remaining 5 of 10 of the top mistakes made in dating. It is important that one remembers that each person is different and as a result different things and actions may be deal breakers in this dating world so pay attention to these and take your time when getting to know a person. Dating is a learning process and in this process you should learn not only about the other person but also yourself. You should understand who you are, your likes and dislikes and what you find important and value in a relationship. This is the only way you will find what you are looking for when it comes to dating and relationships.

                      

6. Obsessing over details. Now in my opinion is that a worrywart will always be a worrywart. They can't help themselves, it's in their nature. And this is fine. Once you know your character trait, you can work towards making sure that it does not hamper your growth and development. So what makes being a worrywart an issue? When it starts to transcend into your daily life and relationships. You worry about whether or not the person is going to call when they get home, worry about what the other said, worry about if they meant what they said, worry about how long until they find someone else, worry about whether ir not your parents will accept the person and if not, how will you balance the two aspects of your life and so on and so forth. This worrying mentality can seriously hamper any relationship. It takes away from your attractive appeal and let's face it it's a mood killer. There is no use worrying about every aspect of a relationship. If a relationship is meant to be it will be. Que sera sera. Trust in the Lord and the choices he makes. Know that he will guide you to the one.

7. Avoidance of intimacy. The idea of intimacy that I'm referring to is not leaning towards the sexual aspect. I'm not saying to run around kissing and doing the nasty will as many persons as possible. Actually I advise against it. Relationships have become too focused in the physical and not enough on the personality or the overall vibing between you and the person. The avoidance of intimacy I am referring to is the ever growing fear of relationships and making a commitment. This fear was usually attributed to men. If you ever watched the movie 'The Bachelor' well I think that's what it was called, we saw the image of the wild mustang that gets lassoed into marriage. However, this fear is growing in women as well. As a result of this fear, many of us subject ourselves to the 80/20 rule or possibly 60/40. Much of this can be attributed to the current society we are living in. With high divorce rates and the high idealism the we attach to finding the perfect mate, many of us may pass up a 'good catch' and undervalue a great partner because we fear that we may be settling or we may just fear rejection, being hurt or the loss of a relationship that we may not even put the effort in the relationship from the get go. All I can say is 'You never know, if you never try.'

*The 80/20 rule refers to how much effort one puts into a relationship. The aim is not to put too much effort into the relationship, so if the relationship fails you do not get hurt.

8. Rush in, rush out. I'm sure many of us have met those eager beavers. Those overexcited persons who rush into every situation head first and never seem to slow down and think about the possible consequences and repercussions. These reckless lovers always seem to fall in love more quickly than the rest of us and so in, so out. Soon after they profess their undying love, they are out of love (*snap*) just like that. I'm often told my friends that I thought it was unhealthy that some people feel like they always need to be in a relationship. They don't feel complete unless they have someone as their boyfriend or girlfriend. So much so that many tend to have others on stand-by or they are actively looking for someone else whilst in a relationship. Then are those who start planning the wedding from the first date. Both of these are two sides of the same dating mistake coin. Getting overly involved too soon is a big red flag. It can lead to high expectations and great disappointments. In every relationship you need to pace yourself and just try to enjoy and cherish the moments spent together.

                                

9. Not being honest about your needs. It's a great thing to have a positive attitude and to optimistic. What isn't great is when that optimism makes you delusional or even brush issues under the rug. Pretending everything is peachy and right as rain is not ok nonetall. Eventually everything will surface and all that makes for is an even bigger explosion. Assertiveness (not to be confused with being bossy, demanding or domineering) is an essential skill for any mature relationship. One needs to be able to active voice their opinions and concerns to their partner. I believe we are at the age where we should be able to speak to each other about pretty much anything and it not turn into a shout match or a battle of the voices. You need to clearly and confidently speak your needs to your partner; it's the only way they can be met. Being tactful and direct is the quickest path to relationship success.

10. Sacrificing too much to get the relationship. You give give give and what do you get in return? Bupkiss! Nada! Zilch in return! There are many of us who our nature is to put others needs above our own. We are so busy self-sacrificing that we fail to see we are not getting anything in return. There is a word commonly used to describe a person like this, 'DOORMAT'. Just remember when all you do is bend over backwards, in time you will crick your back or even get a spinal injury. Do not undervalue yourself and end up in a situation where you are sacrificing yourself, your needs or your character in order to snag a mate. It's never worth it to lose yourself for ANYONE. A healthy relationship is one between two equals, both giving and receiving in reciprocal fashion. Remember every relationship has its kinks and road bumps but the right one will accept you for who you are; but if the problems outweigh the benefits then it's probably best to slow down, cut it loose or seek third-party help.

Well ladies and gents we have arrived at the end of the common dating mistakes. There may be others but I pretty much covered the basics and the most essential issues of the dating world. Take careful note of yhis advice. It may not be the gospel, but it's some pretty useful stuff. As usual, at the end of any discussion I like to leave you with some wise words from those who have come before me or just a wise saying I may have heard someone in my life say. Today I leave you with 'Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.  That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.  ~Emily Kimbrough'. Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Enjoy your day. Toodles!!!

Comments, feedback and suggestions are welcomed.

Lonely Hearts Club!!!

Confession of a Lonely Hearter-Take me back to yesteryear

                   

When did life get so complicated? When did things seem so difficult? Does anyone remember a time when our only care in the world was waking up on Saturday mornings to watch cartoons or even just what new lunchkit we wanted to bring to school at the beginning of the school year? Oh yes those were the good old days and then age happens. We get older. Our bones start creaking, schoolwork becomes a hassle and to add to our family life, our religious quest, our academic journey, we have to add the brawta of relationships. Oh relationships what a doozey!!! Now no one can be blamed. We can't help ourselves. I mean we are only human and as humans we are beings of yearning and desire. We yearn fulfillment. We yearn completeness. We yearn that companionship that makes life worth living. We yearn for a better day and a better life. So what is all this ranting leading up to? (Dun dun dun!!!!!)….Top Dating Mistakes. So I realized many of you said that my last note was a wee bit too long (still worth the read though! So go read it!!!) so I have decided to make this a two-part thing in my series of romantic tips and advice. (Again I do not claim to be an expert but hey this beats studying!!! Right Gaweezy? J) In any case let's hop to it people!

1. Game Playing. Now I've had this discussion with my friends many times. The basic theory in this is the person who likes the other more loses and the one who is not as invested wins in the battle of power. So we play games to protect our ego's or just to get what you want. Here's what I say play it STRAIGHT people. Relationships shouldn't be a competition, it should be a compromise. It shouldn't be a survival of the fittest competition, that's what we went through before the relationship. When it comes to dating, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, fears rejection of some sort, so it only makes you human if you do. Conclusion: It's FINE to put your best foot forward, and also be a bit cautious, but have the courage to show who you are. You want someone who wants you for who YOU are!

   
   
   

   
    
2. Talking about your exes. Based on the nature of you relationship, things like this would come up eventually. So don't bring it up, especially not in the initial stages of the relationship. The point is your exes are in the past for a reason so leave them there(unless it is your ex you're trying to restart something with, which is a very tricky thing because if you haven't sorted out the issues you had the first time around, they will still be there the second time therein. Word to the wise: BE CAUTIOUS!!!). Carrying old baggage into a new relationship amounts to clutter. So just try to get to know the person and have a chance for a fresh start sans the baggage.

   
   
   

   
    
3. Ignoring red flags. We all have them. Those little annoying things that make us say 'No! Something is wrong here!' If someone doesn't show up when you're supposed to meet, that's a red flag. If you call them and they are always too busy to take your call, bingo, red flag. Some signals may be a bit more subtle and we may be tempted to overlook them, but whatever it is the red flag is telling you to slow down and take it easy. 'Go easy!' Now I'm not saying that people won't have their character flaws, no one is perfect right? Nor am I saying you should condemned anyone to the pits based on their first mistake or when the first problem arises (unless it's a big one then roast 'em, boil 'em and scorch 'em (eh Anna?). I mean pray for their souls may they see the error of their ways! (yes Sheree you are so right!)). What I am saying is to trust your instincts. An emerging pattern is not something to make excuses for or brush under the rug. Address these problems early, and don't waste your time.
4. Interrogating your date. Imagine this, it's your first date and the trending conversation topic is: "How many children do you want? What's your credit rating? So I did a background check on you and I found out a few things that I would like to clear up before we get married". These are NEVER (I repeat NEVER!) good opening sentences, especially not on the first date. You want to show interest by asking about their likes or dislikes, but not press someone for information. Let things evolve a bit, as you get to know someone. Patience and restraint are required here, even though you may feel pressed for time. Do your best to relax and have fun.
5. Fantasizing about the future. This is especially a problem for females. From a young age, we have been fantasing. Dreams of a fairytale ending and happily ever after. Mrs (so and so). This is cute when we are young and carefree, but it's not cute after the third date. You need to remind yourself to slow down and enjoy the moment. Dating is to be a fun and enjoyable thing. Yes we have hopes that at the end of it we will start a relationship and end in full commitment, but until then we gots to live a little. As I always say (sing rather) 'Someday soon my prince will come but until then I'm gonna have some fun. Gonna dance all night and frolic all day. Got to kiss some frogs before I find the one'. Well I don't plan to kiss frogs, but you get the point. So until you have time to really get to know someone, and see him or her in a wide range of situations, it is helpful to not get ahead of yourself; don't strongly attach to some illusion that you have created about the person. This can lead to pitfalls of setting up unrealistic expectations and subsequent disillusionment, or depression if the relationship doesn't work out.

Well as usual I like to end my notes with a little inspirational quote so here goes…. 1 Corinthians 6 v 12 states, "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. If we are not sure that our actions are permissible by God then maybe we shouldn't even bother with it!" So in layman's terms we all have gut instincts that tell us when the person we are considering is not right for us. Listen to yourself and make the right and best decisions for you. Have a great day. If you're alive you already are. Toodles!!!

Comments, feedback and suggestions are welcomed.

 

Lonely Hearts Club!!!