The Little Story of Red flags

Hello All,

Well it has been quite a while since I made any kind of Lonely Heart Confessions or given any relationship advice so I thought I’d dish out some now. I’m guessing you already figured out what this is about based on the title so let’s waste no more time and hop to it.

                Are you singing those coulda, shoulda, woulda blues? That’s what usually comes out of our mouths and into our minds after we break up with someone we knew were especially bad for us. I should have read the signs. I could have been more guarded. I would have dumped him/her long ago had I listened to my gut feelings. So why is it that we ignore our initial instincts? Our minds and hearts are saying “Stop! Halt! Go no further!” and yet still something else nudges us forwards. Don’t be too had on yourselves! In the beginning stages of love and relationships and with love’s rose-coloured glasses on, oftentimes it is quite easy to overlook abnormal behaviour and noticeable flaws.  You just need to remember that it’s never too late to make amends with yourself and to learn from your previous mistakes. So how exactly do you spot a red flag? Ask yourself these questions?

                            

1)      Is your gut gnawing at you saying “this person is not right for you”? Do you continuously have a voice in your head saying “you know this is wrong”?

2)      Is there just something about them, you may not be able to put your finger on it that gets to you?

3)      Is the person a serial dater and seems to jump from relationship to relationship?

4)      Is the person a liar? Have you continuously caught them in numerous lies especially about whereabouts and friends of the opposite sex?

5)      Is the person violent to you or others? Or do they have anger management problems?

6)      What is the person’s pattern of behaviour? (Recognize that problems you face early on in terms of personality and conflict are not likely things you can change about the person.)

If the answer to any of these questions is yes (especially a resounding yes!), then you know you have a red flag on your hands. Note there may be other things that are noted red flags to you. These are only some basic red flags that I could think of. My overall advice to you is that though in relationships compromises will have to be made there are some little things that can be identified as warning signs of the impending relationship doom so take heed of them. And remember to trust your instincts and pay attention to the underlying signs that make you think deeply on whether or not the person is right for you.

                    

Quote:  1 Corinthians 6 verse 12 “Everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me but I will not be mastered by anything. If we are not sure that our actions are permissible by God then maybe we shouldn’t even bother with it.”

Thank you for reading! Enjoy the rest of your life! Toodles!

Much Love,

Nella